Who Do You Want in Your Corner?

It's a beautiful winter morning in Michigan and I still find myself thinking about themes of loss, love and appreciation.

As much as I wish to be wise and discerning, I find myself, at my ever advancing age, still making the same mistakes I've made my entire life. While its comforting to know that many others make the same mistakes, I'm not happy knowing that hordes of us are bad decision makers. Oh to be wise, discerning and appreciative for what is right and true rather than spending time, energy and resources chasing the illusory, the temporary, the disappointing.

What do I mean? Well, let's talk about people. I'm a sucker for witty, attractive, charmers. You know, men and women who can make crowds smile, who always look good in the clothes they wear, and whose schedules are packed with interesting commitments, job functions, and getaways with friends and family. In comparison, my life seems depopulated and uninteresting. How come the witty, attractive charmers don't want to be my friend? Why am I at home watching TV instead hobknobing with the cool crowd? This sounds so very much like high school--yet these feelings for me are real. Do you ever feel the same way?

The truth is, there are lots of people in my life and lots of interesting, satisfying ways to spend my time. So why am I not satisfied? More importantly, why do I seek approval from people who don't really care about me, while those who prove themselves faithful and true I hold in low regard?

At my grandfather's funeral last week was a family--two very plain parents and their rather ordinary looking daughter. Upon further investigation turns out the girl wasn't that ordinary at all--at age 10 she was already in the eighth grade! This family picked up my grandfather every Sunday evening and drove him to church since he could not drive himself. And they'd been doing this for years. After church they would sit in my grandfather's apartment, play checkers, and share stories of their lives.

The little girl was distraught over the loss of someone who was important to her--a 99-year-old great grandfather who could barely see, barely hear, and, by all accounts, carried himself like a grumpy old man. Clearly these facts didn't bother that family. They found great personal worth in this on-going act of kindness. "It wasn't a burden being with your grandfather," said the father to me. "He became a friend, and we looked forward to the time." This family also found themselves at my grandfather's bedside at the time of his death.

Hmm, now I asked myself some questions. Why wasn't I at the old man's bedside? When was the last time I played checkers with anyone, let alone my grandfather? When was the last time my children spent substantive time with an elderly person? What joyful, meaningful experiences have I missed because rather than nurturing relationships with the everyday people who surround me, I'm working overtime to find the secret code to getting into the cool group?

The sage advice is true: we must bloom where we're planted, find joy in the people and places where we live, see goodness and value in the people and opportunities before us, and resist the allure of power, prestige and popularity. For me, this is a very tall order indeed. God help me reorder my priorities this year.

Keep praying for your loved ones this week. Scripture says the effective prayers of the faithful person can accomplish much.

Good bye.