The Right Gift

Who loves us more: the person who gives us what we ask for, or the person who gives us what we need? The former sounds like a friend--the later sounds like a parent.

"Like" relationships are purely discretionary. Those who amuse us, encourage us, inspire us, are people we choose to be around. However, if those same people become boring, offend us, or no longer raise our spirits, we may choose to end our relationship. Someone I know calls these relationships "flavors of the month." This happens to me all the time. I meet someone new, find some common ground, enjoy their company, and I believe I've just made a fantastic friend.

However, after a few meetings, I discover the person possesses certain annoying habits, may not be as smart as I thought, and becomes less interesting to me every day. And, since I'm not willing to make a special effort to continue our relationship, the person just drifts out of my life. I sometimes even forget their names.

Family members and true friendships, however, are built on more substantial ground. Years of interaction create a rich context for these relationships, a context that includes good times and bad, happy and sad. One bad day shouldn't doom a friendship. One day when we're "off our game" won't get us disowned from family. If our friendships and family relationships are healthy, they are about more than passing amusements. They involve building trust, mutual respect and growth. Our friends and close family give us what we need to be harmonious human beings. Watch an episode of Family Guy if you need a laugh. However, call a family member or friend if we need help with our lives.

Which leads me to the Book of Acts. (OK, my transition is a little abrupt today). In Chapter 3, Peter and John are on their way to pray in the temple. They run into a lame man who asks them for money. The apostles say they don't have money, but can give him something far better. Then, stretching out their hands, they take hold of the man, pull him up and all of a sudden, the man's ankles strenghten and he can walk. In fact Scripture said the man began "walking and leaping and praising God." Talk about lifting a man out of poverty. The apostles knew what the man really needed.

In ancient times the ability to do manual labor might be the only thing standing between life and starvation. Accordingly, physical disability was devastating. Especially as the person grew older and could not depend on the care of parents, life became precarious for the blind, the dumb, and the lame. While a few coins could ward off starvation for a day, what that man really needed was a miracle: strong legs and the ability to walk.

So, in response to the lame man's request, the apostles gave a far better gift.

I wonder, are we giving the right gifts to the people around us? When our children ask for XBox games, do we cave in, assuring ourselves that good parents take care of their children. Or, do we seek to give our children the tools they need to lead a happy and successful life--gifts such as faith, love and discipline--whether or not our children know to ask for them.

And, what are we asking of God? Do we ask for wealth, saying that freed of money worries we can pray more effectively or have additional resources to share with the needy. Do we ask for popularity, saying the more people who like us, the larger circle of influence we'll have to encourage godly behavior. Do we ask God for material goods so that we'll be better respected in the community? These thoughts were captured long ago by Janis Joplin who sang in a voice dripping with irony, "O Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz."

I think I understand this lesson. Jesus promised us, "Ask and it shall be given to you." What Jesus didn't do, however, is define "it". "It" may not be what we asked for--it might just be what we need. So go ahead and ask God for whatever you want. Ask for that flat screen TV. Ask for a better job. Just be sure you understand why you're asking for that particular gift. Perhaps there's a deeper need that God is looking to fill. And, be prepared. What God gives us in response to our asking might just blow our minds . . . and cause us to "walk, leap and praise."

Now God, about that new job . . . .