On My Own and All Alone

Here we go again. Two weeks in a row! It's Friday in Lent and time to reflect on today's Scripture readings that appear in the daily lectionary.

The Psalm selected for today appears often during the Lenten season: Psalm 22. Unlike the words of comfort from the 23rd Psalm, the 22nd Psalm is all about pain and anguish. Perhaps its most famous words are, "I am a worm, not a man." Hmm, as much as I feel that way sometimes (most recently the day after my hernia surgery), I was not feeling that pain today.

Instead I felt most attracted to Paul's words contained in the eighth chapter of Romans. Here Paul writes exuberantly about the Christian's connection to Jesus--saying that nothing, I mean NOTHING, could ever separate us from God's love given through Jesus.

His words are wonderfully optimistic and absolultely reassure us that despite any difficult circumstances we may face, Jesus walks with us. Thank God we're not alone.

Yet I sometimes wonder, simply the fact that Jesus is with us does not mean we are experiencing his presence. I can think of many comforts and safety nets available to us that we often overlook or ignore. When the pilot light on my furnace went out last week--the gas company was available to help me, but I went ahead and tried to restart the machine, without luck. When the repairman came, he told me the pilot line was broken and that I was lucky I didn't "burn my face off." Lucky? Hmm, blessed more like it. Why didn't I call the expert first?

I also wonder why my son, who knows his father is a great writer (in my own mind, maybe?), never asks me to read his school papers and essays. I bet I could help him improve his grades, yet he chooses to forego my help. It's not a bad thing to want to do things on your own, it's just sometimes you miss a blessing.

One of the reasons I avoid getting help is that I prefer to do things my way. If you ask for help, then you're kind of obligated to accept assistance. It seems a little rude to solicit advice then immediately reject it. Why ask if you do not intend on listening.

Which is why I think my son doesn't ask me to read his papers--kind of hard to say, "No Dad, I like it better my way."

Which takes me back to nothing separating us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. I can think of several blocks to my relationship with God that did not appear on Paul's list: pride, stubbornness and willfullness. If God has gifted me, then why do I need help from the almighty to land a deal--shouldn't my talents be obvious without some divine intervention? Why should I ask Jesus to be with me in that business meeting?

Or, after committing myself to fruitless efforts, should I change course simply because God's gentle prodding urged me to try a different approach. I mean seriously God, shouldn't I keep at it my way a little while longer? Do you really expect me to accept the humiliation that I was on the wrong road?

Or, why ask for God's help when you know God's will is contrary to my own. If I want something--isn't it enough that I want it? Why would God allow me to want something that isn't good for me? Sure God's laws are clearly written in scripture, but doesn't he give his children a little leeway? If you know the answer is going to be "no" and you really want something, why ask permission?

As hard as it is to accept, our God can simply demand things from us because he is God. And Jesus will advise us to do right even when we want to do wrong. Loving God requires respect for his will--and accepting that his will is perfect, despite what our will tells us. But, submission is hard, and getting one's way is addicting. It also separates us from the one who loves us most.

Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus? Really? Perhaps nothing from God's end. . . . I'm just saying.