A Father's Pride

I have great kids.

And this is not the wine talking, really. OK, maybe I have enjoyed a couple of cold glasses of Chardonnay, and it's been a spectacularly beautiful summer's day in Michigan. But even with those mood elevating conditions, I still have to say, my kids are phenomenal.

I look at them and I'm amazed. How did an ordinary, kind of dorky guy like me contribute such extraordinary individuals to the human race? And what's even more amazing is that, so far, we're batting 1,000 with this brood. They are handsome, smart, loving and kind--all of them! They have risen above their father in so many ways and continue to grow. God bless them.

Today is Father's Day and I'm deeply in love with my four children. It's not just that they've shown me special Father's Day kindness--though the gifts were nice, the hand written cards charming, and the meals they prepared delicious and designed to please me--it's just that I can't stop looking at them and feeling overwhelming joy and pride.

I want to introduce you to them.

Our oldest son is Angel. Many have said few men have been more appropriately named than him. He's truly angelic in nature. Still, for me, his finest quality is his compassion that seems to know no bounds. He will give you the shirt off his back, the last dollar in his wallet, and his last ounce of energy if that's what you need. And, unlike most, Angel never feels jealousy over the accomplishments of others. If you're enjoying success at anything, Angel will sincerely share your joy. Similarly, if you're feeling despair, Angel will go to that dark place with you and be your only friend, if that's what you need. I've never known anyone with Angel's capacity for empathy--it's a trait his friends and family sometime don't fully appreciate, but yet delight in benefitting from.

Next comes Lonelli. Yes she's the one featured in the photo at top. This picture was snapped today after she completed her first ever triathalon. Understand that Lonelli has suffered some serious injuries in her day and feels constant pain--yet she has doggedly soldiered through the pain to reach her fitness goals. I've never met a more determined person than Lonelli. When she embraces a goal, she pursues that goal with unwaivering determination until she achieves it. She does it over and over, like her campaign to gain admission to the U.S. Naval Academy, to earning a full-ride scholarship to the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia, to snagging a much-sought-after marketing position in Detroit in the midst of one of the most severe economic downturns this country has ever seen. And while pursuing these goals, Lonelli actively enlists the support of friends and family, because she knows their support is crucial to her on-going success. Lonelli knows what she wants and can formulate solid plans to reach her destination. I wish I had her drive.

As if the accomplishments of the older two are not impressive enough, what can I say about 18-year-old Amelia? Her most recent achievements prove that hard work and consistent efforts bear amazing fruit. How else can you explain her impressive first-year college GPA (3.73) and earning an "A" in her recent South Africa travel seminar, when fellow classmates, who included upperclassmen and law students, struggled to pass the class. How else can you explain why Amelia was recognized by her Drake professors this year as one of the school's top ten freshman (out of a class of 800+ students) despite a demanding academic schedule, a full load of extracurricular activities and leadership positions and holding down a part-time job? She even found time to have a boyfriend! Few teenagers I know demonstrate her gutsy maturity.

And finally, our youngest Isaac--a child whose talents seem endless. Rarely have I seen a person who is so good at so many things--and he never seems to show off. Children and adults alike recognize his musical aptitude, his athletic prowess, and his academic accomplishments and agree that he deserves success. People root for him because he's charming not arrogant and is a friend to all. He oozes charisma and flashes wit at appropriate and sometimes inappropriate moments, but no one seems to mind when he goes over the top. As he grows into young adulthood, Isaac will face unique challenges and temptations, yet he's just so clearheaded and loveable, I expect he'll face those challenges with his typical flair.

Scripture urges parents to train up children in the way that they should go and promises that when they are old, they will not depart from it. I believe that my children have benefitted from my wisdom, my love, and my usually gentle guidance. However, as a far-from perfect parent, I have no right to take that much credit for their achievements. Their accomplishments belong to them. My wife, our families, nuturing teachers, church leaders and others all have helped mold my children and have encouraged them to push themselves beyond simply what is expected. As a result, my children still believe the world is full of mountains to climb and opportunities to experience.

I am full of love and pride for them today. For me, every day is Father's Day.

Better a Living Dog . . .

"Whoever is joined with the living has hope, for better a living dog than a dead lion." Ecclesiastes 9:4

First, I wanted to be cop.

I remember going to a Thanksgiving Day parade in downtown Detroit and seeing handsome officers in their dress blues riding beautifully groomed horses down Woodward Avenue. The policemen were stern faced and seemed oblivious to the crush of onlookers. At that moment I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be a cop--because cops ride horses in parades! I was five years old. My ambition changed in August 1967 when I witnessed police officers clubbing suspected vandals with truncheons during the terrifying days of the Detroit riots, when my city was set aflame with hatred and violence. I no longer wanted to be a policeman. I was six years old.

Later I wanted to be an architect because of a drafting class I had in school. After that I wanted to fly helicopters, raise cattle, and own my own business. In high school my dream of being elected the governor of the State of Iowa was so well known that a friend purchased for me stationery with my embossed name and title: "Governor Kevin Piecuch". I think I still have some of those sheets in a box in my basement.

And, like every child who loves popular culture, I also imagined conquering the world as a rock star. That ambition I kept to myself.

And yes, being a lawyer was also a dream, one deeply held and one I attained a little later than I planned . . . but it was one dream I realized. Other than finding a life partner or raising children, I can't think of anything sweeter than achieving your dreams. It's true.

As a person get's older, however, you realize that many amazing dreams you ached to achieve as a youth will never be realized. And as these dreams wilt and fade, and fall away like blooms off a flowering tree, you somehow feel your life has lost a little bit of beauty. And when you look at yourself--you stop seeing the future star, but instead stare at the ordinary guy you never wanted to be, but now find yourself anyway.

To make matters worse, with age you not only lose dreams, but you realize missed opportunities, times where you see in retrospect that, but for a bad decision or some other mistake, you might have achieved something special and maybe enjoyed a better life. Dreams fade and regrets haunt, no wonder so many old folks are depressed.

If you are taunted by feelings of anguish because your life has not turned out quite the way you planned, you must listen carefully to the writer of Ecclesiastes. Life is a remarkable gift--and as long as you have life and breath you always have hope for a better tomorrow. To spend your life, however, chasing ghosts and aching over things you cannot change achieves nothing, instead it wastes your life, which is the most precious gift all of us share.

Remember, regardless of how you got to your present reality, you possess talent, skills and experiences that make you valuable. Maybe you're not the lion (or the governor, or the cattle rancher) but that's not to say that being the dog is worthless. I just read that dogs are now being trained to detect certain cancers in humans through their keen senses of smell--isn't that remarkable? And, getting to be the lion in the world sometimes requires paying a steep price. The sheer effort to get to the top has brought ruin to many (look at Detroit's former mayor Kwame Kilpatrick). Sometimes, maybe it is better to be the living dog than the dead lion.

I'm all for driving ourselves to use our talents and achieve goals. No need to be ordinary slobs who sleepwalk through life not really trying to improve the world. At the same time, stop beating yourself up over lost dreams and missed opportunities.

While all young people dream of better lives, there's no reason why us old folks can't be optimists and dreamers, too! And, our dreams should be all that more vivid, attainable and less naive because they are colored by our own experiences.

As long as you have life and breath, look forward with hope and don't look backwards with regret. See how looking backwards worked out for Lot's wife? I'd rather be like John the Evangelist who at 90 years old could still envision a new heaven and a new earth where every tear was wiped away and every sorrow healed.

I'm launching a new business next week, one that is going to change my life . . . again. And, later, I have some other rocking plans poised to help real people. What dreams are you planning to achieve this week? Let me know, because I'm here to cheer you on. LIVING DOGS UNITE!!

Pleasures of Plain Vanilla

When I go to an ice cream shop, I'm struck by all the choices. Some of the flavors sound really interesting. Others sound kind of gross. But me, I pretty much order the same flavor every time. Maybe I'll mix it up with sprinkles, or if I'm really indulgent a waffle cone, but in the end I usually end up with one of my tried and true favorites. And, when I do switch things up and stray from my favorite flavor, invariably I say, "that was OK, but not as good as . . . ."

I should stick to my Baskin Robbins pattern in other areas of my life. After all, good doesn't stop being good simply because its familiar. Conversely, bad isn't a good choice simply because its different.

For most of us, thriving in life has meant striving to "be good." You know what I mean: honesty, hard work, and loyalty are necessary qualities for people who are successful in school, their careers and in their relationships. Further, those of us who are attached to religious faiths are mindful of whole lists of behaviors, attitudes and actions that bring us into a right relationship with our creator.

And those of us who have been "good" in our lives know that goodness brings real rewards and blessings. One cannot truly feel the pleasures of academic achievement, earn respect and admiration of business associates, and build solid, meaningful relationships without goodness. Further, while God graciously reaches out to us even if we've sunk to the lowest depths (yes, I've been there), how much healthier and satisfying are the times when we're open to the moving of God's Spirit within us on a daily basis, when we're not running and hiding from God (like Adam and Eve in the Garden) but actively seeking God's face (like Moses on Mt. Sinai).

Strange thing for me is that despite my experiences, every day I find myself in the ice cream store making choices. And, despite the fact that I already know what tastes good, I stand there and contemplate every offering. Sometimes I find the choice agonizing. I say to myself, "Maybe I should try Blueberry Cheesecake just this once? Maybe I'm missing something? Can I stand not knowing what that flavor tastes like?"

The Holy Scriptures tell us that the Tempter appears to humanity as an Angel of Light, who is very attractive to the eyes. Further, people of faith know that the Tempter works hard to confuse the righteous. The Tempter tells us to eat the forbidden fruit because doing so will make us wise. The Tempter tells us there are short cuts to fame and fortune. The Tempter tells us no one will ever know . . . . And the words of the Tempter can stick in our brains urging us to take the broad, easy path in life.

However, Jesus said that broad is the way and easy is the path that leads to destruction, and many are those who travel it. But narrow is the way and difficult is the path that leads to life and few are those who find it.

It's ironic how deceiving appearances can be. While being good appears to be the conventional choice, and being rebellious seems brave and courageous, as far as personal morality is concerned, the opposite is true. Resisting temptation is far more difficult than giving in. Being lazy takes much less effort than hard work. And why tell the truth (if it gets you in trouble) when lying is soooo easy.

My fascination with sin, fueled by a steady diet of television crime dramas and questionable "research" on the internet continues to surprise me. One would think that after years of seeing that the pleasures of sin are shortlived and ultimately leave a very bitter taste in your mouth, I would easily choose goodness. But yet, there I am, every day, looking at all those flavors and wondering, "Maybe I'm missing something. Maybe just this once . . . ."

God help us all. Goodness and righteousness may seem dull, conventional and boring, yet without them we cannot find peace, happiness and fulfillment.

Choose your flavors wisely.