Merry Whatever

John Lennon had it right--that Paul McCartney had given up groundbreaking creativity for writing silly love songs. He said that in 1973 when the breakup of the world's greatest band still touched raw nerves, and the former bandmates seemed to be trying to outdo themselve to prove they were the real reason for the group's astonishing success.

Clearly, something was lost in McCartney's songwriting after the Beatles. While he certainly has enjoyed popular success over the last forty years, tossing off hummable bon mots with about as much effort as most of us use to make breakfast, "groundbreaking" is not how most music fans would describe these tunes. Compare "Ebony and Ivory" with "A Day In The Life" and you'll know what I mean.

It wasn't the spectacle of watching McCartney bring his senior citizen rock moves to Saturday Night Live this past week that has me thinking about the former Beatle, or the fact that his music is finally available on I-Tunes (hurray!!), but that my son picked his Christmas song to try out for a solo slot in his high school's upcoming holiday concert. Isaac didn't get the solo, which I believe has as much to do with the quality of McCartney's carol as Isaac's admittedly shakey performance.

Written in 1979, McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime" has taken its place as one of the most often heard songs played on 24/7 Christmas radio stations. Yet, it boasts lyrics so banal that it could be about any family-oriented holiday. OK, that is an overstatement. There are no choirs of children and bells in a song about the Fourth of July, but you get my drift. The song is about feeling good, having a party, being with friends and family--that's Christmas spirit without Christmas message.

John Lennon, who was never a proponent of Christian faith (e.g. "The Beatles are more popular than Jesus"), at least understood that the hope of Peace on Earth was a very good reason to wish Merry Christmas. Yet, for Paul McCartney, there is no gift giving, no peace, no humble, struggling Holy Family. Instead Christmas is all about mood and feelings.

Well, if that's what Christmas is about, maybe we should all just take a Zoloft on December 25, sit home, and listen to Johnny Mathis albums! Seriously, in this weather, who needs a party? Why don the cheesy red sweater and risk grievous bodily harm to drive across town, especially after imbibing a few egg nogs? If feeling warm inside is the goal, then skip the cards and the $10 gifts and just mix me another Hot Toddy, please!

I'm still waiting for Christmas spirit to hit me this season. My wife says I've been a curmudgeon all month--heck I nixed the backyard ice rink, have found plenty of things to do other than shop, and not even faked an effort to start addressing Christmas cards. I know I have responsibilities to bring Christmas spirit to my family--and with that in mind I gamely hung outdoor lights, hoisted an enormous wreath on the front of the house, and even baked some amazing cookies. In a more serious vain, our family's Advent devotions have occurred almost daily--in an admirable effort to remember "the reason for the season." Yet, I'm still left wondering, who's going to bring the Christmas spirit to me this year?

Last night we ended up watching Seven Years in Tibet on television. This visually spectacular film tells the story of Heinrich Herrer, an egotistical mountain climber, whose life was changed by his friendship with Dalai Lama and introduction to Tibbetan Buddhism. With Brad Pitt as the lead, the movie was a Hollywood production that needed mass appeal to earn profits (and recoup the $70 million + production budget). Yet, despite Pitt's almost comical German accent (wonder if he was remembering this role while hamming it up in Inglorious Basterds?), his character showed admirable growth thanks to his encounter with the Tibetan people.

In one scene, Pitt's character was showing off his athleticism to a throng of Tibetans who were ice skating, apparently for the first time. Yet, the Tibetans paid no attention to the flamboyant mountain climber who was performing stunts on the ice, preferring instead to encourage Herrer's companion, another Austrian, who was focused on helping a lovely young Tibetan find her footing on a very slippery surface. Lesson? It's not about drawing attention to one's self that matters, it's all about helping others.

Bereft of the attention of the lovely young Tibetan woman, Pitt's character finds himself taking an awkward, saffron-robed monk by the hand, and guides him across the ice. Ironically, it's this selfless act of kindness that drew the Dalai Lama's attention, watching the whole skating adventure from afar. But for his selfless act, Pitt's character may have never formed a bond with one of the world's most deeply spiritual persons.

Lesson for me? I'll not enjoy authentic Christmas spirit this year unless I find a way truly to give of myself to others. Isn't that what Christ's gift showed us? That by emptying ourselves of power and position, honor and glory, and by humbling ourselves, we learn true purpose and meaning for our lives? Just what will that mean for me? I'm not yet sure. But I'll let you know when I figure it out (probably with some outside help).

Keep your Christmas mood this year Paul McCartney--I'm looking for something more.

December Reset

Hello blog, my old friend. Hopefully with a little tending I can get you nursed back to health in no time. Hopefully my neglect has not permanently destroyed what was an important part of my life a few months ago.

So what's been going on in my life lately. Let me start with passions. I'm still exercising (and have kept the weight off). But, today it was snowing and I didn't run, swim or do anything remotely physical. Is this the beginning of a slothful trend--or will I get back on the horse and continue working out like before? We'll see.

Food is still a passion. Lately I've been making delicious morning smoothies with Arab yogurt and frozen berries from Costco. Not too much sugar, lots of protein, fantastic taste. Having a ball baking, too. Made a Paula Dean rum-soaked pound cake for my wife's birthday. So good. Boozy, sugary, full of butter, rich--yeah it was "out of the park" good. Also made the Thanksgiving pies this year, which everybody loved.

Work is picking up. Though hardly my passion, it is something I enjoy. The new business started last spring is finally up and running. Along with my partner, we've got an open location that is serving patients. We've got a functioning website and even a marketing plan. It's all very early, but it's more than a dream--it's a reality. Oh yeah, I have a new law client, too. Unfortunately, the first real project I did for them was less than a stellar success. I thought I was good with people? Well, in designing an executive compensation plan for the client, the first person they presented it to found the plan "one-sided and unfair" and refused to join their enterprise. I think she was mentally unstable, so good riddance--but the client wasn't pleased. I'm in fence mending mode with them now.

I also "broke up" with another associate who I intended to launch a business with. Filled with exuberance over a good idea, I got way ahead of myself and spent a lot of time and energy planning for this business. When we actually sat down to negotiate our partnership, my friend (who says he has high control needs) refused go into the venture as equal partners with me. He wanted to own a large majority of the shares of our corporation and I said "no!" I'm just not in the mood to be anybody's junior partner at this stage in my career, especially when the venture is a start-up with no established business. I hope we're still friends, but I'm not sure.

And the family? Well let's start positive. Isaac is kicking butt in high school with really good grades, lots of friends, and interesting extracurricular activities. We're confident we made the right call keeping him in public schools.

Amelia seems to be doing OK in college again. Her classes are challenging, her spirits are high, but her health has been a little shaky. She burns the candle at both ends and is paying the price. Her asthma, which had been in check for years after receiving a blessing from a Catholic priest with known healing powers (not kidding), is back with a vengeance. With a nice long school break approaching, she'll have a few much needed weeks to recover.

Angel is in culinary school, which is a good thing. Clearly he loves his studies. And, he's really good at the subject matter. Now, the challenge is to keep his nose to the grindstone even though the academic part of his course work is not nearly as exciting and emotionally rewarding as his interactions with people and time in the kitchen. Staying focused on long-term goals is always a struggle, especially with so many distractions in his life.

Speaking of single-minded focus, Lonelli continues to hurtle through life fixated on one or more challenges. Right now she's determined to complete a half ironman triathlon in South Africa early next year. She is also determined to get into a healthy, affirming relationship. These are both good things--at the same time they are not the only things in her life. We continue to encourage her to remember that family and friends are not just yes people there to green light every passion in her life. We have different perspectives and we are not kill joys if we suggest different priorities.

That leaves Clarisa and me. I'm always glad that I'm married--and have never wanted to be anything but Clarisa's husband for the last 20 years. At the same time, even people you love can get on your nerves--and Clarisa and I seem to find every occassion to bother, bug, and generally annoy each other.

In my marriage, we both assume that our perspectives are correct and that our partners have somehow changed. I don't think its change that bothers us, it's our intense togetherness. I believe that as we grow older we're less and less tolerant of our partner's annoying characteristics. They were always there, we just overlooked them, which was easier when we both worked, had small children to tend to, and many other obligations in our lives. But now we're together more--so we're left staring at each other every day thinking, "Is this the person I married?"

I think we both need to become more accepting of each other and recognize that our lives are changing. We're no longer young--and more of our life is behind us than ahead of us. Our roles are changing in our families and in our community, and we need to accept these changes and see the opportunities for growth.

As 2010 winds down, I'm glad this year is over. There were far more uncomfortable experiences than I'm used to. There was less success. More unhappiness.

Ultimately I know that success and happiness come from within, they come when our lives, spirits and goals are aligned with God's will. Chasing after other people's approval or admiration are deadend streets, because we can never get from someone else what brings peace to our spirits. Instead, in 2011 I will strive to find purposefulness in my relationships, in my work, and in my deeds.

One big upcoming event that will help me deepen my thinking and improve my spirit will be World Youth Day 2011. Clarisa and I are the primary chaperones for a group from Grosse Pointe who will attend the World Youth Day in Madrid, Spain in August. The preparation for that journey will include intense spiritual reflection and working hard at interpersonal relationships. The trip is coming at a good time in my life--the year I turn 50--a time when, hopefully I'll be more open to the moving of God's Spirit within.

I also hope this rambling essay resets my mind and gets me back writing. We'll see, won't we. Keep reading!

Censorship! On the Campaign Trail?

Elections for officers for the Class of 2014 were held last week at Grosse Pointe South High School. While fourteen-year old Isaac Piecuch of Grosse Pointe Farms was elected in a landslide to be president of his school's freshman class, he encountered some bumps on his road to victory.

Unknown to the voters at South High School, Isaac is a second cousin of Juan Williams, the recently dropped political commentator for National Public Radio, and now the darling of Fox News.

As celebrities go, Williams is a one who until recently elicited blank stares from most people. Not too many of Isaac's classmates listened to NPR, let alone picked up Williams' biography of Thurgood Marshall or cared that he was on the editorial board of the Washington Post. But now, thanks to the attentions of Bill O'Reilly, Whoopie Goldberg, and Jon Stewart, Williams is practically a household name--and Isaac is his cousin.

The son of immigrants from Panama, Williams and Isaac's mother (my wife Clarisa) grew up together in Brooklyn, New York. Williams' parents figured out that education was the key to success and they somehow sent Juan to prestigious boarding schools, even though their personal finances were modest at best. Talent, hardwork and a good education clearly paid off for Juan.

Isaac has met Juan a few times--at family gatherings--weddings, and, most recently, the April funeral of Isaac's grandfather, who also was Williams' first cousin. At that funeral Isaac sang the old gospel song, "His Eye is On the Sparrow," which is why Williams remembers Isaac. Williams wrote a book on African American religious music, in which he talked about that very song.

Besides a common interest on music, Isaac, like his celebrity cousin, encountered his own bit of censorship during the recent campaign at South High School.

Administrators required all candidates to present advanced copies of their speeches for review, and one sentence in Isaac's presidential campaign speech was deleted. In its original form, the speech quoted Sarah Palin. Isaac wished to say, "The great political leader Sarah Palin once said, 'I can see Russia from my house.' While I can't see Russia from my house, I can see a freshman class excited and movtivated to improve their school."

The administration felt mentioning Sarah Palin might "offend people" so they edited it from the speech. Instead Isaac was permitted to say, "While I can't see Russia from my house, I can see a freshman class . . . "

Perhaps there was a suggestion of mockery in Isaac's initial quote that the administration frowned on. However, the tone of Isaac's speech was far more civil than the name calling, distortions and outright lies we're being subjected to this campaign season.

While news organizations like NPR and school administrators steer clear of public discourse that expresses personal opinions that could offend, who is there to protect the public from the unending onslaught of highly politicized messages we encounter on television, in direct mail pieces and on the radio. And these messages don't come from the mouths of identifiable speakers, but are paid for by undisclosed donors whose motivations are unknown to listeners. Something seems out of whack here.

OK, I'm ranting a bit. For a person who loves the First Amendment (which guarantees both free speech AND religion, are you reading this Christine O'Donnell?) I'm not looking to restrict free speech. However, is speech created by unknown persons that includes lies and distortions meant to sway public opinion protected by our Constitution? I don't think so. However, it seems wrong that in a year when liars are free to spew filth from behind their big rocks without fear of retribution, Juan Williams gets fired for expressing his reaction (which I share) to Muslims on airplanes post 9-11, and Isaac Piecuch is prohibited from saying the name "Sarah Palin" in a campaign speech.

In another interesting election twist at South High School, like many current candidates, Isaac feared being too closely associated with the U.S. President and chose not to hang his favorite campaign poster that read: "Vote for Isaac, he kind of looks like Obama."

Flattery Will Get You . . .

Who doesn't like a compliment?

I know I love them. Yeah, tell me I look handsome and . . . you pretty much own me. OK, maybe I'm not that shallow, but I do enjoy praise. In fact if you heap it on nice and thick, you won't hear me protest!

Many otherwise strong people have been brought down by their own vanity. After all, it is one of the seven deadly sins. And, apparently, one that I particularly am prone to indulge in.

So this week, a little bit of online flattery almost cost me money, my professional reputation, and good old, general humiliation. What happened you ask?

Two weeks ago, out of the blue, I received an email in my professional email account from someone purporting to be an attorney based in Brussels. The attorney said he had a client in Japan who he had represented, but now had a legal issue in my jurisdiction (the email never said "Michigan" however, which should have aroused my suspicion). The email went on and gave the contact information for his Japanese client.

My first reaction was pride. Wow, a European lawyer found my little website and decided, based on reading my glowing descriptions of my professional abilities, that I could represent his client. Figuring there was no harm in sending an email, I sent an email to the supposed client briefly introducing myself.

Four days later, I was surprised and delighted that I received back an email FROM JAPAN!!! And, yes, the president of a Japanese Steel Company was asking me to make a proposal to represent his company in a dispute with a Michigan company. I was thrilled.

To make a good proposal, I immediately did some online research. The Japanese company was a legitimate enterprise--in business since 1934. My purported potential client was in fact the president of the company. The Michigan corporation really is in business and could in fact have been in a dispute with a Japanese steel company.

I sent by email a brief proposal to Mr. Nishimoto and included a representation contract. I even asked for a significant retainer because this could be a big job, and I needed pre-paid funds to get started.

Two days later, to my delight, I received an email from Mr. Nishimoto. He claimed he had received approval from his Board of Directors to accept me as their Michigan legal counsel. He sent back a signed contract. He also sent me the purchase order that was the center of the dispute. This seemingly legitimate purchase order was signed AND SEALED by the president of the Michigan company. Everything appeared in order.

Mr. Nishimoto said he still wanted to keep the Michigan company as a customer. He said he told his customer that they had retained a Michigan lawyer in case they could not resolve their dispute and that I would spring into action "as a last resort". My instructions were to send wiring information so that he could send me my retainer, and then sit tight.

Wow, how easy! I would get paid, and, possibly not perform any services. At this point, however, nagging questions started popping up in my brain. Certain aspects of this chain of events seemed almost too good to be true. And, if something is too good to be true, in many cases, it isn't true.

But, I pushed forward with optimism, seeing this engagement as a chance to get some good publicity for my law firm. I even asked my daughter to start working on a press release to announce our new client. Both my daughter and I put on our Facebook pages, glowing announcements of our good fortune. However, I didn't send the bank routing information, not yet.

Ultimately, as we were compiling information for the press release, Lonelli Googled the name of the company and its president, and a listing appeared about scamming lawyers. Thank God for search engines!

As we read the posting, we saw that other lawyers in the United States had received nearly identical communications from persons needing legal representation. The set ups included the same companies, European lawyer, and legal dispute. One lawyer commenting on the scam said it originated in China, and he pointed out some of the "red flags" he noticed: poorly written correspondence; "too familiar" messages from persons who supposedly were C-level business execs; too quick turn around times for decisions.

Yeah, I had noticed those things too, but I didn't want to heed the signs, not at first. Yes I thought the writing style of the emails was a little strange, but the messages were written by persons for whom English is a second (or third) language. Why should I be put off by a little funky grammar!

And getting emails directly from the president of a multi-billion dollar steel company, that was unusual, wasn't it? Why wasn't he working through his own legal staff? When I get hired by big companies, its always by their legal counsel, not by their president. Ah, but here's where I was seduced by my own vanity. Why wouldn't the president of the company be impressed by my website and abilities? He clearly thought this matter was so important it required his personal attention.

Thank God I'm paranoid about sharing bank data through emails. I was not going to send him the keys to my professional bank account until I was completely sure the engagement was for real. But I was close. I did call my bank and confirmed the routing number. Sending the information was on my "to do" list for the day. I very nearly got scammed.

Instead I sent my "client" a sharply worded email saying he could fool a lot of people, but he didn't fool me! Secretly I hoped he would write me back and apologize and compliment me on my expert sleuthing skills. Maybe I'd hear him say like one of the confounded criminals on Scooby Doo, "Yeah, I almost got away with it, but those smarty pants kids figured it out."

Even better, perhaps Mr. Nishimoto would write back with more proofs and say, those lawyers in Virginia who were scammed, that was a fraud, but I'm for real, and I can prove it. And, I'll MAIL a check to you immediately to prove I still want you!

But instead, my inbox is strangely silent, and the scammers troll the internet looking for other lawyers whose vanity may cloud their better judgements.

Know any Japanese steel companies that need a good lawyer? I've got some free time on my schedule this week.

Move Away from the Twinkie!

Actually, I've never really liked Twinkies, but I LOVE to snack. . . . and drink alcohol. . . . and eat dessert. And, this may come as a bit of surprise based on my recent bragging, I really don't love working out all that much.

While I love how I look and feel since I began eating right and exercising like a maniac, lethargy and gluttony are never quite out of my system. What's making this week all that more miserable for me is that I quit smoking (again) on Labor Day. Many of you don't know that for 25 years I've smoked off and on. Like our President, Barack Obama, I've taken great pains not to flaunt my tobacco addiction--preferring instead to puff in private. But, this week, I'm tobacco free.

Even though at my worst I never smoked that much, giving up cigarettes for me is a lot like not drinking coffee in the morning. I drink one cup of coffee EVERY morning. And, if I miss my coffee, I don't have cravings or headaches, I just don't feel quite right. It feels the same for me when I don't smoke. It's like I've forgotten to do something, and I can't remember what it is. My thought processes seem a little out of focus and my brain runs slower than normal. Also, rather than chilled and comfortable, I feel slightly cross and bothered. And, yeah, I'd like to eat everything in sight, too.

The problem for me is, rather than wanting to go running to get through the muddle, what I really want is a chocolate sundae. Or, better yet, I want a warm piece of cherry pie with a big scoop of ice cream. Yeah, and instead of working today, I'm having trouble finding a higher priority for my afternoon than watching Dirty Harry movies with a bag of Doritos in hand--and salsa, and cheese dip.

Fat people often say there's a thin person inside them trying to get out. With me it's the opposite. I'm a currently thin person whose fat self is just biding his time, playing cards, sitting back sipping martinis, waiting for thin Kevin to run out of steam. I feel such sympathy for Gollum! Remember when Smeagol wins the upper hand for a brief moment in The Lord of the Rings, and the creature seemed to tame his evil nature--only to succumb to temptation and revert to his nasty ways? I sincerely hope a serious backslide isn't in my future.

Wait a minute. Hope is not a plan! Yikes. A serious backslide is coming unless I come up with a counter attack strategy!

Don't worry, it's just my detoxing brain talking. Thin Kevin is not about to disappear. Not this month. He's gonna move away from the Twinkie, AND the Doritos, AND the Newport 100s. He's gonna race against cancer on Sunday. And, he's gonna start swimming with a bunch of fanatics beginning Wednesday. And he's not gonna stuff his face late at night. And he's gonna do this One Day At A Time. (cue up the music, please).

P.S. Wanna see some "before and after" pix. Look at my fitness blog, which is gonna help me stay fit and thin. That site is located at www.ididitucantoo.blogspot.com.

Would You Rather . . . ?

Have you ever played the board game "Would You Rather . . . ?" Designed for older children and adults, the game poses players a series of questions in which they are given the opportunity to pick one of two rather unorthodox situations. The point of the game is to reveal the inner thoughts and value systems of the players.

For example, you might be asked, "Would you rather lose your eyesight or your hearing?" How one answers that question reveals what kinds of interactions are most important to the player.

I've never seen this question posed in the game, but I'll pose it here. Would you rather be liked or admired? You should take some time before you answer. While most of us likely wish to be admired, at the same time being liked certainly makes your day go by easier. Admiration is generated by observation, while fondness comes through human interaction. I can admire someone I don't know--an athlete for their physical prowess; a business leader for their accomplishments; and an artist for their talents. The fact that these persons may fail in their relationships and treat the people around them rudely does not diminish my admiration for their achievements.

Fondness, however, is tied to our emotions. We like people who make us laugh, who remember our birthday, and who pay attention to our appearance. These interactions are personal. While we may not trust him or her with our life savings, we're more likely to invite a person we like to go fishing than the person voted most likely to succeed by our senior class in high school.

Ultimately, I want to be both liked and admired, but it's difficult to pull both off. A high achiever does many things that anger people who observe them. For example, if a person achieves due to their hard work, then the much larger group of people who don't work hard is reminded of their laziness. The admired achiever then gets maligned for being a workaholic, driven or called obsessed by those who would rather achieve without putting in the same effort.

Also, an admired achiever inevitably makes difficult choices that will also alienate others. For example, a person in business will choose some people to be their partners/associates and choose not to do business with others. If being liked were more important than success for that person, he or she would try hard not to offend anyone and could instead maintain unproductive business relationships that would undermine their success. Every successful business venture has created some enemies along the way.

This whole theme has been on my mind because for the past few weeks the director of the vocal music program at Isaac's high school has been mentioned in a variety of conversations day after day. The program is widely admired for its success--contest awards, highly regarded productions, large participation--but the director is widely criticized for an overbearing, some would say abusive, personality. She's called "crazy", "mean", and "bitchy"--and gossipers also enjoy speculating about her personal life. Yet, in the end, parents, students, and many in the community seem to bend over backwards to accomodate and please this director. I honestly wish my children were as concerned about my feelings! Maybe I should try throwing tantrums!

So, at the end of the day, if my choice is would I rather be Norm from Cheers, the guy everybody likes (but nobody takes seriously), or Ellen from Grosse Pointe South, the woman everybody admires (but many dislike), I'm going with Ellen. Maybe Norm sleeps better at night and rarely encounters conflict, but he's also spending his day on a barstool, not doing much for anybody. Maybe Ellen is gossipped about and maligned, but she also is changing lives (and taking names).

I guess the question isn't so difficult after all, is it?

Second Place or First Loser?

There seems to be a recurring theme with my son's baseball teams as of late. While blessed with tremendous talent, dedicated coaches, and supportive parents, this team gets close to the pinnacle of great success, only to falter at the finish line.

While their win/loss record is impressive, and they've beaten many talented teams along the way, in the end, does anyone really care who comes in second? The accolades always fall upon the victors, while the runners up dream of what might have been.

Last season after rolling through their district and state championship tournaments, as 12-year-olds, they fell in the semifinals at the regional tournament in Indianpolis and never made it to the Little League World Series in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. This year again, a squad including most of the same players from last year's team, missed a state championship as 13-year-olds by one run. Most upsetting to me was that in their final game, while the other team kept scratching out runs, our boys wilted in the 90-degree heat and some key players sat out in the late innings to rest. In the end, their opponents won the championship, erasing any sting from two regular season losses to our team.

So, while our boy's accomplishments in baseball set them far above many of their peers, they still have not proven themselves to be champions. What is it that separates a champion from someone who is just really good? What do the boys from Grosse Pointe need to push them to that next level where they will reach the top, rather than simply settle for a pat on the back for a "good effort."

For what it's worth, here's what I think those boys need to be champions.

First, they need to put the interest of the team first. The old cliche "there's no 'I' in team" is a lesson these boys somehow lost. In Grosse Pointe, parents raise their children to be "superstars"--and, unfortunately not every person is going to be a superstar in everything. Especially on a team, success comes when role players play their appointed roles. The ace pitcher has to win every game. The closing pitcher must foil any late inning rallies. The short stop must make every play. The clean up hitter needs to drive in runs. And on, and on. Not every player is going to hit homeruns, or throw no hitters, or even play an important role in every game. However, if a player's job one day is to pinch run, then that pinch runner better not make a mistake on the base paths. The run scored by a pinch runner could be the difference in a game. In a tight baseball game, there are scores of opportunities for every player to make a significant impact on the outcome of the game.

However, if someone is unhappy with their appointed role, even if that role seems minor and unimportant, and fails to give their best effort no matter the situation, the team could lose the game. I've seen far too many pouty boys on this team--and it helps explain their lack of ultimate success.

Second, a successful team is not afraid of adversity. One loss typically doesn't end a season. One injured player should not make that big a difference. One bad inning doesn't mean the game is over.

For boys accustomed to easy victories, adversity sometimes feels terrifying. In the past, the Grosse Pointe team sometimes crumbled upon encountering difficult situations. Errors in the field seemed contagious. And the team morale sunk and could not rebound. While here the boys have shown improvement, they need to develop additional strategies for dealing with bumps in the road. We need a spark plug, a rallying cry, something to help the boys regain their focus, intensity, and confidence when the game seems to be slipping away.

Third, the boys need to develop leadership skills. While strong parents and coaches make a huge difference in the lives of teens, sometimes when the adults overmanage and overcontrol, young people fail to learn how to reach within themselves for the strength to succeed. Ultimately, it's the child who stands at the plate, throws the pitch, and catches the ball. No matter how hard the adults work with the child, the child ultimately must perform. If a teen has not stood up and taken responsibility for his own success and failures, they may not feel fully connected to the dream of winning a championship. After all, who's dream is it anyway? The player? The parent? The coaches? If the players are simply living out the dreams of their parents and coaches, they likely lack the spirit and intensity to be a champion. However, if the goal of winning is something the child wants with all his heart, then maybe he can muster enough passion to truly become a champion.

Make no mistake, I'm proud of the accomplishments of the 13-year-old baseball boys from Grosse Pointe, Michigan. Their record of achievement has been impressive. However, if they want to move beyond impressive, to . . . say, remarkable, then they need to learn how to play as a team, learn how to deal with adversity, and find the passion within themselves.

Next week we go to Battle Creek Michigan to see these boys make a run at a national championship. Personally, I believe, unless these boys think they have the skills, the passion, and the motivation to win this tournament, we should save our money and go to the pool instead. After all, winning may not be everything, but in sports, it's almost everything.