Second Place or First Loser?

There seems to be a recurring theme with my son's baseball teams as of late. While blessed with tremendous talent, dedicated coaches, and supportive parents, this team gets close to the pinnacle of great success, only to falter at the finish line.

While their win/loss record is impressive, and they've beaten many talented teams along the way, in the end, does anyone really care who comes in second? The accolades always fall upon the victors, while the runners up dream of what might have been.

Last season after rolling through their district and state championship tournaments, as 12-year-olds, they fell in the semifinals at the regional tournament in Indianpolis and never made it to the Little League World Series in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. This year again, a squad including most of the same players from last year's team, missed a state championship as 13-year-olds by one run. Most upsetting to me was that in their final game, while the other team kept scratching out runs, our boys wilted in the 90-degree heat and some key players sat out in the late innings to rest. In the end, their opponents won the championship, erasing any sting from two regular season losses to our team.

So, while our boy's accomplishments in baseball set them far above many of their peers, they still have not proven themselves to be champions. What is it that separates a champion from someone who is just really good? What do the boys from Grosse Pointe need to push them to that next level where they will reach the top, rather than simply settle for a pat on the back for a "good effort."

For what it's worth, here's what I think those boys need to be champions.

First, they need to put the interest of the team first. The old cliche "there's no 'I' in team" is a lesson these boys somehow lost. In Grosse Pointe, parents raise their children to be "superstars"--and, unfortunately not every person is going to be a superstar in everything. Especially on a team, success comes when role players play their appointed roles. The ace pitcher has to win every game. The closing pitcher must foil any late inning rallies. The short stop must make every play. The clean up hitter needs to drive in runs. And on, and on. Not every player is going to hit homeruns, or throw no hitters, or even play an important role in every game. However, if a player's job one day is to pinch run, then that pinch runner better not make a mistake on the base paths. The run scored by a pinch runner could be the difference in a game. In a tight baseball game, there are scores of opportunities for every player to make a significant impact on the outcome of the game.

However, if someone is unhappy with their appointed role, even if that role seems minor and unimportant, and fails to give their best effort no matter the situation, the team could lose the game. I've seen far too many pouty boys on this team--and it helps explain their lack of ultimate success.

Second, a successful team is not afraid of adversity. One loss typically doesn't end a season. One injured player should not make that big a difference. One bad inning doesn't mean the game is over.

For boys accustomed to easy victories, adversity sometimes feels terrifying. In the past, the Grosse Pointe team sometimes crumbled upon encountering difficult situations. Errors in the field seemed contagious. And the team morale sunk and could not rebound. While here the boys have shown improvement, they need to develop additional strategies for dealing with bumps in the road. We need a spark plug, a rallying cry, something to help the boys regain their focus, intensity, and confidence when the game seems to be slipping away.

Third, the boys need to develop leadership skills. While strong parents and coaches make a huge difference in the lives of teens, sometimes when the adults overmanage and overcontrol, young people fail to learn how to reach within themselves for the strength to succeed. Ultimately, it's the child who stands at the plate, throws the pitch, and catches the ball. No matter how hard the adults work with the child, the child ultimately must perform. If a teen has not stood up and taken responsibility for his own success and failures, they may not feel fully connected to the dream of winning a championship. After all, who's dream is it anyway? The player? The parent? The coaches? If the players are simply living out the dreams of their parents and coaches, they likely lack the spirit and intensity to be a champion. However, if the goal of winning is something the child wants with all his heart, then maybe he can muster enough passion to truly become a champion.

Make no mistake, I'm proud of the accomplishments of the 13-year-old baseball boys from Grosse Pointe, Michigan. Their record of achievement has been impressive. However, if they want to move beyond impressive, to . . . say, remarkable, then they need to learn how to play as a team, learn how to deal with adversity, and find the passion within themselves.

Next week we go to Battle Creek Michigan to see these boys make a run at a national championship. Personally, I believe, unless these boys think they have the skills, the passion, and the motivation to win this tournament, we should save our money and go to the pool instead. After all, winning may not be everything, but in sports, it's almost everything.