Flatter Me? Mock Me?

It's been said, "Imitation is the highest form of flattery."

That's true when the urge behind the imitator is emulation.  Teenagers want to look like the persons they idolize.  Older people wear sports gear favored by admired athletes.  Women ask hairdressers to cut their hair like fashion models.  However, there's nothing flattering when imitation is bent on mockery.

We laugh when Jimmy Fallon "slow jams" the news, serving up a performance Barry White would enjoy because we know Fallon truly admires African American culture and R & B music.  But when all-white fraternities and soroities host "Pimps and Hos" parties, I for one feel sick in my stomach.

It's bad enough when African American artists glamorize misogyny and prostitution, but the sight of sheltered suburbanites wearing afro wigs and fishnet stockings is hard to swallow.  I think even Al Jolson would blush.

So when does good natured imitation veer into frown-worthy mockery?  It's hard to pin down, but like Potter Stewart's famous Supreme Court obscenity standard, "I know it when I see it."

Unfortunately, even when the impulse is good natured, sometimes imitation truly is unnecessary.  Are any cultural divides bridged when political leaders or celebrities don native garb and dance some goofy friendship dance while cameras record every embarassing moment?  I don't think so.

And, my family wants to run for cover every time I try to speak a foreign language I don't know.  Or, worse, when I use broken, accented English to non-English speakers.

"Dad," Isaac said to me more than once.  "They expect you to know your own language.  They don't understand you better when you speak that way."

But I was just trying to be culturally sensitive.  So are many other patronizing foreigners when they encounter "less sophisticated" native peoples.

I guess it's all about respect and appreciation.

Keep slow jamming the news Jimmy Fallon--especially when you get a big assist from Barack Obama and The Roots play backup.  And me, let me focus on imitating Emeril in the kitchen and stop trying to be Meryl Streep with dialects. 

Maybe imitation is only flattering when it's good natured AND well executed.

Get Your Lazy Bones Out of Bed!

There are two kinds of people in the world:  morning people and lazy people.

Morning people are eager to start their days.  They plan.  They imagine.  They can't wait to face the world.

Lazy people want to sleep.  They stay in bed even when awake.  They avoid doing productive endeavors.  They make excuses for everything.  Why?   Because . . . because . . . well, who knows?

There are two kinds of people in the world:  robots and creators.   Robots sleepwalk through life without much reflection.  They get up.  They go to work.  They come home.  They go to bed.  Over and over, again and again, they do as they're told and do it some more.  Creators have little love for routine.  They see the work-a-day-world as a prison that stiffles creative thought.  Tight, rigid schedules make life intolerable.  They function best when free to move when their muse moves them.

Clearly there are more than two kinds of people in the world.  However, depending on the day, we can only see two types:  people like us and people not like us.  Usually people like us are imbued with every positive quality and characteristic, while people not like us are easily maligned or ignored.

The book Please Understand Me by David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates was all the rage a few years back.  Corporations and organizations bought copies of the 120-page manual and passed them out to their people.  The book included an abbreviated version of the MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indictator) test with analysis.  Organizations and groups gave their members this test believing that by understanding various personality types,  members would know each other better and productivity would increase.

The MBTI is a test based on Jungian psychology (loved Michael Fassbender in A Dangerous Method, btw) and divides the world into various personality and temperment profiles based on answers to a series of questions.  No value judgments are placed on the various temperments--no one type is "better" or "worse" than the other, they're just different.  However, implicit in these categories is the idea that persons may be better suited for certain roles over others based on their personality.  For example, probably not a good idea to make an introverted thinker the head of your sales team!

While understanding people's personalties may be useful in knowing your friends, family members, and co-workers, does it help you enjoy being stuck with a thankless task because it "better suits your personality"?

Think back to the biblical story of Mary and Martha.  Martha was stuck fixing food and cleaning house when Jesus came by, while her sister Mary sat at Jesus' feet and listened to him speak.  Jesus said Mary made the better choice by skipping work and listening to him.  I see his point.  Seriously, how important is the pita and hummus when the Son of God sits in your living room?

I know people who never relax.  They are so busy futzing around that they miss seeing rainbows and hearing birds sing.  Too bad for them.  At the same time, does a person get a pass from menial tasks and drudgery simply because it's counter to their personality type?  Does anybody really enjoy scrubbing toilets?  I don't think so.

Knowing personality types helps us understand the people around us.  We know why certain tasks seem more difficult for some and why others enjoy doing the tasks they enjoy.  Diversity in personality and temperment is not, however, a measure of ability or a limit on responsibility.  We can be good at things we don't enjoy.  And, if our group needs that task performed, we might be stuck doing it.  Further, our positions may require us to "take care of business" even if we wish somebody else would step up in our place.  You can't expect a willing minor to run to the the 24-hour pharmacy when the baby is sick at night.

In a perfect world, our lives would be unending bliss--and everyone would perform only the tasks that bring us joy.  We all would feel fulfilled, self actualized, and free from pressure.  However, in the world where I live, someone has to wash dishes, clean up dog poop, discipline the children, and struggle with bills.  Not always fun--but necessary.

Do I feel put upon or frustrated when some of these tasks fall on my shoulders?  Yes!   But, I'm not alone here.  Do I feel guilty when these tasks fall on other shoulders?  Sometimes.  Many families and groups share the same or similar personalities--that's why we were attracted to each other in the first place!  Therefore, when we all want to be the head, there's nobody left to be the feet.  Here's where communication and negotiation come to play.  Find a way to share the load so that no one person ends up being dumped on all the time.

Yet, communication and negotiation require work, while anger and resentment are easy.  Which will I choose today?  Which will you?

Welcome to Juno Alaska!

Yes, I know how to spell. The capital of Alaska is J-U-N-E-A-U. Juno is a Roman goddess. "Juno" is also the title of a 2010 movie starring Michael Cera and Ellen Page. And, Juno is the name we gave to the pictured Siberian Husky who moved into our house three weeks ago.

Hard to tell if she knows her name is Juno. After ongoing training efforts, the puppy understands "sit" (though she doesn't always sit when commanded). She understands "come" (though she doesn't always come when called"). She seems to know her name if there's food involved. Maybe she's just not attached to the name Juno. Maybe she still remembers "Tina"--the name her original owners called her.

I'm not sure I'm all that attached to the name Juno either. First week home, I think I preferred "Ghost Dog" because of her haunting blue eyes. Half the time I call her "Carly," the name of our 10-year old Lab--who, by the way, dithers between fear, disdain and grudging acceptance of the baby interloper. Lately I've been spitting out "Devil Dog" as the exuberant pup jumps on cabinets, chews chair legs, and poops everwhere but in her designated pooping spot.

There's no denying this puppy packs charisma--with her fluffy fur, bandit's face, affectionate personality, not to mention THOSE EYES! But she's a ton of work, too.

None of us clearly remember whether training Carly was this hard. Now moving into her final years, Carly is a mellow beast whose behavior mostly pleases her owners. She never messes the house, she doesn't jump on visitors. Her life is regular and orderly. Was housebreaking difficult for us ten years ago? I don't remember.

What I do recognize is that Carly, a submissive litter runt, might soon get alpha femaled by her new canine housemate. This Juno is willful, confident, and eager to explore. Katey bar the door!

Seriously, I'm gonna bar the doors--or at least set up some toddler gates.

Fasten your seatbelts, it's gonna be a bumpy night!

You aren't kidding Margo Channing. Early this morning (I'm talking 5 a.m.), I heard Juno yelping in her crate. It had been several hours since she last had been out. I figured her baby bladder needed relieving, and I got up to take her outside. When I got downstairs, Juno was jumping excitedly, and I tried to settle her down. Then I noticed puppy feces strewn everywhere. I took her outside, where she urinated as expected. Brought her in and gave her breakfast in an enclosed area. Then I began the stinky cleanup.

What made this mess so distressing was the fact that it was her third crate pooping incident in the same day! Has she decided the crate is her "designated pooping spot?" I thought dogs didn't poop where they slept?

Clearly we're doing something wrong.

Our puppy training manual says you can let a dog roam free in the house once you've gone an entire two weeks without an accident. Right now I'd settle for twelve hours!

Despite our muttered threats to give the dog back, or send her to the Humane Society, we know Juno is here to stay. And, like her namesake Roman goddess, looks like she has plans to become queen of this castle.

We'll see about that.

Mary Magdalene First

When Jesus rose from the dead on Easter, the Gospels agree that he appeared first to Mary Magdalene. But why Mary? Why not to one of his other friends? From the Bible we know precious little about Mary Magdalene. We know she was from Magdala, a small fishing village near the Sea of Galilee. We know that Jesus cast from her seven demons. And, following her release, we know that Mary was one of Jesus' most devoted disciples. Beyond that the Bible says precious little.

The Bible does not say whether Mary was rich or poor, whether she was married or had children. Further, the Bible never suggests she was a person of low moral character. She was not a prostitute. She had not been caught in adultery. And, she was not the weeping woman who bathed Jesus' feet with tears and annointed them with perfume. Modern stories that portrary Mary as Jesus' spouse or even the mother of his children are pure fiction.

But, of all the friends of Jesus, she saw him first following his resurrection. That seems meaningful to me.

Whenever something remarkable happens in my life, I want to share the news. When my children were born, the phone calls started ringing immediately--first parents and siblings, then other relatives and close friends. But, when my mother died last summer, I was overseas without a phone, surrounded by people I had only recently met. Fortunately I found solace with my wife, my son, and with people who happened to be with me.

The resurrection stands out as the most sigificant event in history, and Jesus shared the news first with Mary Magdalene. I wonder, did she "earn" that honor, or was she merely at the right place at the right time. I believe it was a little of both.

"Lucky" people are also often outgoing people. You can only be at the right place at the right time if you go places. If you sit at home waiting for the telephone to ring with good news, you might wait a long time. But, if you're out in the world--meeting people, working hard, trying to make a difference, things happen. I know the importance of times for reflection and contemplation. People who are busy often get overwhelmed with their lives. Quiet, alone time is necessary to help us keep perspective. However, in Mary's case, her actions put her in the position to see Jesus first.

While other disciples fled, fearing for their lives, Mary stayed near Jesus. She witnessed every gruesome step of his march to Calvary. She lingered at the foot of the cross as Jesus' life slipped away. She helped wrap the bloody corpse and prepared it for burial. Others were there, too, but Mary Magdalene, alone among the friends of Jesus, witnessed every agonizing moment. And, early Easter morning, who first went to the tomb? Not Peter, not John, not one of the other disciples, but Mary and her friends. She saw Jesus first, because she refused to leave him, even in death.

True love and loyalty are far more precious than power and popularity. Power is often based on position. Take away the position and the power is gone. Similarly, popularity is fleeting. We feel affection toward people who amuse us, flatter us, or possess something we want. But such feelings should never be mistaken for true love.

Throughout his life Jesus, won crowds of admirers through his teaching and his miracles. Yet, this affection dissipated after Jesus' ministry moved in unpopular directions. When Jesus overturned the merchants' tables and condemned the temple authorities, suddenly his popularity faded.

It's remarkable that despite the many lives he touched, Jesus suffered the cross nearly by himself. But Mary was there. Her loyalty to Jesus was nurtured by personal experiences that extended over many years. Her love for him was no passing fancy, but touched the core of her soul and easily survived even the most disasterous circumstances. She would not abandon Jesus. He freed her from seven demons. He transformed her life. And, for her devotion, every generation since has honored her memory.

Luke tells a story about Jesus healing ten lepers. They all were infected with leprosy and lived as outcasts. And, thanks to Jesus, they all were made clean. While all ten received the same cure, only one returned to Jesus and said thank you. How surprising.

Whether or not Mary Magdalen performed any more remarkable deeds in her life, we can only speculate. However, in the Easter story, her love and loyalty earned her a place in history. And, we should all follow her example.

Too often, I am like the disciples who run away from Jesus when I'm afraid. Or, I'm like one of the nine healed lepers who shares my blessings with everyone while failing to bless the one who blessed me first. Fortunately Easter comes back every year and we are reminded that some friends showed loyalty to Jesus, while others betrayed his love. Are we all that different? Fortunately, Jesus loves us unconditionally, and allows us to choose the example we will follow. This year, let it be Mary's.