Goal Achieved

My New Year's resolution this year was to run a marathon in 2012--not just any marathon, but the Detroit marathon on my 51st birthday.

Well, Sunday, October 21 rolled around this year and yeah, I ran my marathon.  Not only did I run it, but I finished in the top third of all runners, which isn't bad for a first effort.  Actually achieved all my goals:  time under four hours (three hours and forty-eight minutes to be exact), ran the whole way (ok, I did spend a minute in the porta potty at mile 14), and no injuries.  Mission accomplished.

Fortunately for me, the day was perfect--cool temps, sunny skies and light breeze.  The view from the middle of the Ambassador Bride made me gasp.  The air in the tunnel was stale like I expected, but not scarey being down there.  And, the residents of the Indian Village are much cooler than most Grosse Pointers--they were blasting tunes, dancing, and passing out beer (for the carbs!) to thirsty runners.

Best moments of the day include my wife's loving send off at 6:20 a.m. and seeing my boys enthusiastically cheer me on--waving signs and yelling my name.  Also enjoyed my girls bragging about my exploits on Facebook ("my Dad is tougher than your Dad").  For a guy my age, these thrills happen less often than I'd like.

But the experience was not a one-day thing.  My serious training for the race began in June.  Armed with advice from experienced friends and following a training plan developed by Hanson's Running Shop, my preparation was methodical.  As the summer ground on, the plan demanded increasingly long runs that occupied more and more of my time.  Towards the end, I was running fifty + miles a week, and running became more or less my only physical fitness activity--I stopped swimming, biking and gym workouts--from September 1 on, I was a runner.

Fortunately, good friends helped make the long runs bearable, even fun.  Without Joe, Monique, Laura and Keith, I never would have stuck to the plan.  They pushed me to try harder and their wisdom regarding race preparation proved invaluable.

Since the day of the race, I've been feeling a little disoriented--not tired or sore, so much as hung over.  Despite all the praise this effort has garnered and my satisfaction at meeting a pretty awesome goal, I'm wondering, "What next?"

In the end, a race is just a race.  My achievement was not unique or all that special.  I didn't find a cure for cancer during this effort, nor did I come up with a plan for saving Detroit.  What I did do was push myself to do something difficult, something I had never done before, something that, barely three years ago seemed beyond my reach.  Which is why I ran this marathon.  I need to continue pushing myself if I'm going to remain physically and mentally fit for the next thirty years or more.  Rather than give in to physical limitations that are inevitable with age, I want to marshall the wisdom that comes with experience to drive me further.  Growing older should be less about limits and more about new opportunities.

So what's next?  Since the knees and ankles are still solid, I'm thinking about a new running goal.  I've never been a fast runner, but instead a steady one.  Next year I want to be fast, at least for a day.  My goal is to run a 5 kilometer race is less than 20 minutes.  That time would not qualify me for a high school cross country team, but it would represent the fastest time I've ever run.  Hey, if Oscar Pistorius can run fast without legs, what's my excuse?  In fact, I want to run this speedy race at the annual Grosse Pointe Turkey Trot Thanksgiving Day 2013.  How's that for a goal?

What's a life without goals?  A boring one.  An unfulfilling one.  Someone else's life, not mine.

Is There a Forest Beyond These Trees?

Until I actually saw Michelangelo's David up close in Florence this year, I never knew that the statue's hands were freakishly large.  No human being has hands so out of proportion.  Well, maybe Abe Lincoln did.  But, not someone considered "beautiful."  Yet, the size was not a mistake.  The artist intended viewers to see the statue from a perch forty feet above a Florentine plaza.  From that angle the hands look fine.

It's all about viewing things from their proper perspective.

This idea reaches beyond the world of fine art, and it certainly pertains to the angst I'm feeling over . . . well, just about everything.  Maybe it's the approach of another birthday.  Or perhaps worries about this marathon I'm running.  I feel ill at ease right now--and I want to feel differently.  What I need now, more than anything, is a little perspective.

I ask myself, "What do I have to worry about, really?"  My life is amazing.

Leprosy has not claimed my nose (poor King Baldwin in Kingdom of Heaven).  Don't know anyone injured in a terrorist attack.  Most people like me, a few (thanks Clarisa) love me, and NOBODY hates me--those feelings around here are saved for Jose Valverde.  What nerve, to get worked up about insignificant daily life dramas.  Lost a client?  Imagine what it feels like to lose your house?

Kid giving me fits?  Imagine the parent whose son is in jail, or whose daughter just suffered a drug overdose.

Can't afford that new toy?  Imagine running out of food stamps mid month and not having decent food to feed your loved ones.  Perspective is amazing, don't you think?

But, nervy as it seems, feelings are still felt even if those feelings are immature, selfish and possibly embarassing.  I wish I didn't sweat the small stuff, or get worked up about things that don't really matter, but I do.  I spend too much time fretting about perceived slights and lost opportunities. I pray.  I meditate.  I lose myself in repetitive exercise.  But I also can rachet up the emotions meter pretty much on cue.  The jaunty, "devil may care attitude" I try to wear hasn't fooled anyone for years. I'm actually a red-hot poker who wants desperately to be cool.

So let me trot out some wisdom.  I am, after all over 50.  I know the Bible backwards and forwards.  And, I've taken the Dale Carnegie course . . . twice!

Preaching to myself, now, here's my best perspective advice.  First, from my own experience, I know with certainty that it's not where you start that matters, it's where you finish.  Hell yes!!!

Though I've always been a decent runner, I haven't actually participated in many track competitions.  The first time I ran in a timed race was in college, when I anchored the 4 x 400 meter relay for my dorm's intramural track team.  When handed the baton, I was so pumped with adrenaline that the first hundred meters were the fastest I had ever run in my life.  I was running waaaaay too fast, though.  And, all of a sudden, my legs started to get heavier and heavier.  Pretty soon they were like lead weights and I struggled to run.  My team mates had no idea what was happening--it's like I suddently went from  being Speedy Gonzalez to being the tortise--and in this relay, the tortise came in last place.

I learned my lesson.  Next time I ran I resisted the urge to sprint and didn't worry when the whole world seemed to be passing me by.  I looked around and said smugly to some of the jack rabbits, "I'm gonna see you soon."  And, sure enough, while the truly fast runners beat the pants off me, most of the showboats turned out to be slowboats.  In the end, I passed runner after runner, and actually won a medal.  Grind it out.  Stay the course.  Keep on the right path even when the way is hard, because nothing feels more satisfying than finishing something difficult--and knowing you did it well.

Second perspective lesson comes from the Bible. 

I love the story of Joseph.  Not so much Andrew Lloyd Webber's version with his technocolor dream coat, but the Moses version contained in the book of Genesis.  Talk about a man with troubles:  sold into slavery by his brothers, suffered in Pharaoh's prison, falsely accused sexual assault.  Wow, Joseph's life went from one bad break to another, and another, and another.   But, in the end, these troubles led him to a place where he truly saved his family's lives.

I'm not saying that there's a silver lining behind every sorrow.  However, troubles are the best teachesrs  When things go well, we sometimes falsely believe our good fortune is somehow deserved or earned.  However, when times are hard--we become motivated to correct what's wrong in our lives.  For Joseph, his remarkable gifts were bound to break lose as long as he stayed faithful to God's guiding hand.  The same is true for us.  God never gives us more than we can handle and always provides us a way of escape, if we just open.our eyes and follow.  Bad times are ALWAYS a prelude to better times . . . you just need to remember God cares for you.

Finally, a lesson from Dale Carnegie: 

He wrote in "How to Win Friends and Influence People," that if you want to be enthusiastic, act enthusiastic!  Yes, act as if you're feeling the emotion you want to feel. 

Emotions work backwards, too. When you're down and out, don't curl up and sulk.  Instead, try pretending you're on top of the world.  Want to feel happy?  Smile.  Want to feel joy?  Jump on your bed and sing a song.  If you are stuck with negative emotions then shake them off. Change your body – how you move, sit and stand – and act as you would like to feel. Enthusiasm and other positive emotions can be created in the same way sadness and negative emotions can be deepened when indulged.

And here's one more piece of good advice.  Want to feel happy?  Try doing something nice for someone else.  I should know.  After sharing some uplifting thoughts I feel better already.