John Lennon had it right--that Paul McCartney had given up groundbreaking creativity for writing silly love songs. He said that in 1973 when the breakup of the world's greatest band still touched raw nerves, and the former bandmates seemed to be trying to outdo themselve to prove they were the real reason for the group's astonishing success.
Clearly, something was lost in McCartney's songwriting after the Beatles. While he certainly has enjoyed popular success over the last forty years, tossing off hummable bon mots with about as much effort as most of us use to make breakfast, "groundbreaking" is not how most music fans would describe these tunes. Compare "Ebony and Ivory" with "A Day In The Life" and you'll know what I mean.
It wasn't the spectacle of watching McCartney bring his senior citizen rock moves to Saturday Night Live this past week that has me thinking about the former Beatle, or the fact that his music is finally available on I-Tunes (hurray!!), but that my son picked his Christmas song to try out for a solo slot in his high school's upcoming holiday concert. Isaac didn't get the solo, which I believe has as much to do with the quality of McCartney's carol as Isaac's admittedly shakey performance.
Written in 1979, McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime" has taken its place as one of the most often heard songs played on 24/7 Christmas radio stations. Yet, it boasts lyrics so banal that it could be about any family-oriented holiday. OK, that is an overstatement. There are no choirs of children and bells in a song about the Fourth of July, but you get my drift. The song is about feeling good, having a party, being with friends and family--that's Christmas spirit without Christmas message.
John Lennon, who was never a proponent of Christian faith (e.g. "The Beatles are more popular than Jesus"), at least understood that the hope of Peace on Earth was a very good reason to wish Merry Christmas. Yet, for Paul McCartney, there is no gift giving, no peace, no humble, struggling Holy Family. Instead Christmas is all about mood and feelings.
Well, if that's what Christmas is about, maybe we should all just take a Zoloft on December 25, sit home, and listen to Johnny Mathis albums! Seriously, in this weather, who needs a party? Why don the cheesy red sweater and risk grievous bodily harm to drive across town, especially after imbibing a few egg nogs? If feeling warm inside is the goal, then skip the cards and the $10 gifts and just mix me another Hot Toddy, please!
I'm still waiting for Christmas spirit to hit me this season. My wife says I've been a curmudgeon all month--heck I nixed the backyard ice rink, have found plenty of things to do other than shop, and not even faked an effort to start addressing Christmas cards. I know I have responsibilities to bring Christmas spirit to my family--and with that in mind I gamely hung outdoor lights, hoisted an enormous wreath on the front of the house, and even baked some amazing cookies. In a more serious vain, our family's Advent devotions have occurred almost daily--in an admirable effort to remember "the reason for the season." Yet, I'm still left wondering, who's going to bring the Christmas spirit to me this year?
Last night we ended up watching Seven Years in Tibet on television. This visually spectacular film tells the story of Heinrich Herrer, an egotistical mountain climber, whose life was changed by his friendship with Dalai Lama and introduction to Tibbetan Buddhism. With Brad Pitt as the lead, the movie was a Hollywood production that needed mass appeal to earn profits (and recoup the $70 million + production budget). Yet, despite Pitt's almost comical German accent (wonder if he was remembering this role while hamming it up in Inglorious Basterds?), his character showed admirable growth thanks to his encounter with the Tibetan people.
In one scene, Pitt's character was showing off his athleticism to a throng of Tibetans who were ice skating, apparently for the first time. Yet, the Tibetans paid no attention to the flamboyant mountain climber who was performing stunts on the ice, preferring instead to encourage Herrer's companion, another Austrian, who was focused on helping a lovely young Tibetan find her footing on a very slippery surface. Lesson? It's not about drawing attention to one's self that matters, it's all about helping others.
Bereft of the attention of the lovely young Tibetan woman, Pitt's character finds himself taking an awkward, saffron-robed monk by the hand, and guides him across the ice. Ironically, it's this selfless act of kindness that drew the Dalai Lama's attention, watching the whole skating adventure from afar. But for his selfless act, Pitt's character may have never formed a bond with one of the world's most deeply spiritual persons.
Lesson for me? I'll not enjoy authentic Christmas spirit this year unless I find a way truly to give of myself to others. Isn't that what Christ's gift showed us? That by emptying ourselves of power and position, honor and glory, and by humbling ourselves, we learn true purpose and meaning for our lives? Just what will that mean for me? I'm not yet sure. But I'll let you know when I figure it out (probably with some outside help).
Keep your Christmas mood this year Paul McCartney--I'm looking for something more.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
December Reset
Hello blog, my old friend. Hopefully with a little tending I can get you nursed back to health in no time. Hopefully my neglect has not permanently destroyed what was an important part of my life a few months ago.
So what's been going on in my life lately. Let me start with passions. I'm still exercising (and have kept the weight off). But, today it was snowing and I didn't run, swim or do anything remotely physical. Is this the beginning of a slothful trend--or will I get back on the horse and continue working out like before? We'll see.
Food is still a passion. Lately I've been making delicious morning smoothies with Arab yogurt and frozen berries from Costco. Not too much sugar, lots of protein, fantastic taste. Having a ball baking, too. Made a Paula Dean rum-soaked pound cake for my wife's birthday. So good. Boozy, sugary, full of butter, rich--yeah it was "out of the park" good. Also made the Thanksgiving pies this year, which everybody loved.
Work is picking up. Though hardly my passion, it is something I enjoy. The new business started last spring is finally up and running. Along with my partner, we've got an open location that is serving patients. We've got a functioning website and even a marketing plan. It's all very early, but it's more than a dream--it's a reality. Oh yeah, I have a new law client, too. Unfortunately, the first real project I did for them was less than a stellar success. I thought I was good with people? Well, in designing an executive compensation plan for the client, the first person they presented it to found the plan "one-sided and unfair" and refused to join their enterprise. I think she was mentally unstable, so good riddance--but the client wasn't pleased. I'm in fence mending mode with them now.
I also "broke up" with another associate who I intended to launch a business with. Filled with exuberance over a good idea, I got way ahead of myself and spent a lot of time and energy planning for this business. When we actually sat down to negotiate our partnership, my friend (who says he has high control needs) refused go into the venture as equal partners with me. He wanted to own a large majority of the shares of our corporation and I said "no!" I'm just not in the mood to be anybody's junior partner at this stage in my career, especially when the venture is a start-up with no established business. I hope we're still friends, but I'm not sure.
And the family? Well let's start positive. Isaac is kicking butt in high school with really good grades, lots of friends, and interesting extracurricular activities. We're confident we made the right call keeping him in public schools.
Amelia seems to be doing OK in college again. Her classes are challenging, her spirits are high, but her health has been a little shaky. She burns the candle at both ends and is paying the price. Her asthma, which had been in check for years after receiving a blessing from a Catholic priest with known healing powers (not kidding), is back with a vengeance. With a nice long school break approaching, she'll have a few much needed weeks to recover.
Angel is in culinary school, which is a good thing. Clearly he loves his studies. And, he's really good at the subject matter. Now, the challenge is to keep his nose to the grindstone even though the academic part of his course work is not nearly as exciting and emotionally rewarding as his interactions with people and time in the kitchen. Staying focused on long-term goals is always a struggle, especially with so many distractions in his life.
Speaking of single-minded focus, Lonelli continues to hurtle through life fixated on one or more challenges. Right now she's determined to complete a half ironman triathlon in South Africa early next year. She is also determined to get into a healthy, affirming relationship. These are both good things--at the same time they are not the only things in her life. We continue to encourage her to remember that family and friends are not just yes people there to green light every passion in her life. We have different perspectives and we are not kill joys if we suggest different priorities.
That leaves Clarisa and me. I'm always glad that I'm married--and have never wanted to be anything but Clarisa's husband for the last 20 years. At the same time, even people you love can get on your nerves--and Clarisa and I seem to find every occassion to bother, bug, and generally annoy each other.
In my marriage, we both assume that our perspectives are correct and that our partners have somehow changed. I don't think its change that bothers us, it's our intense togetherness. I believe that as we grow older we're less and less tolerant of our partner's annoying characteristics. They were always there, we just overlooked them, which was easier when we both worked, had small children to tend to, and many other obligations in our lives. But now we're together more--so we're left staring at each other every day thinking, "Is this the person I married?"
I think we both need to become more accepting of each other and recognize that our lives are changing. We're no longer young--and more of our life is behind us than ahead of us. Our roles are changing in our families and in our community, and we need to accept these changes and see the opportunities for growth.
As 2010 winds down, I'm glad this year is over. There were far more uncomfortable experiences than I'm used to. There was less success. More unhappiness.
Ultimately I know that success and happiness come from within, they come when our lives, spirits and goals are aligned with God's will. Chasing after other people's approval or admiration are deadend streets, because we can never get from someone else what brings peace to our spirits. Instead, in 2011 I will strive to find purposefulness in my relationships, in my work, and in my deeds.
One big upcoming event that will help me deepen my thinking and improve my spirit will be World Youth Day 2011. Clarisa and I are the primary chaperones for a group from Grosse Pointe who will attend the World Youth Day in Madrid, Spain in August. The preparation for that journey will include intense spiritual reflection and working hard at interpersonal relationships. The trip is coming at a good time in my life--the year I turn 50--a time when, hopefully I'll be more open to the moving of God's Spirit within.
I also hope this rambling essay resets my mind and gets me back writing. We'll see, won't we. Keep reading!
So what's been going on in my life lately. Let me start with passions. I'm still exercising (and have kept the weight off). But, today it was snowing and I didn't run, swim or do anything remotely physical. Is this the beginning of a slothful trend--or will I get back on the horse and continue working out like before? We'll see.
Food is still a passion. Lately I've been making delicious morning smoothies with Arab yogurt and frozen berries from Costco. Not too much sugar, lots of protein, fantastic taste. Having a ball baking, too. Made a Paula Dean rum-soaked pound cake for my wife's birthday. So good. Boozy, sugary, full of butter, rich--yeah it was "out of the park" good. Also made the Thanksgiving pies this year, which everybody loved.
Work is picking up. Though hardly my passion, it is something I enjoy. The new business started last spring is finally up and running. Along with my partner, we've got an open location that is serving patients. We've got a functioning website and even a marketing plan. It's all very early, but it's more than a dream--it's a reality. Oh yeah, I have a new law client, too. Unfortunately, the first real project I did for them was less than a stellar success. I thought I was good with people? Well, in designing an executive compensation plan for the client, the first person they presented it to found the plan "one-sided and unfair" and refused to join their enterprise. I think she was mentally unstable, so good riddance--but the client wasn't pleased. I'm in fence mending mode with them now.
I also "broke up" with another associate who I intended to launch a business with. Filled with exuberance over a good idea, I got way ahead of myself and spent a lot of time and energy planning for this business. When we actually sat down to negotiate our partnership, my friend (who says he has high control needs) refused go into the venture as equal partners with me. He wanted to own a large majority of the shares of our corporation and I said "no!" I'm just not in the mood to be anybody's junior partner at this stage in my career, especially when the venture is a start-up with no established business. I hope we're still friends, but I'm not sure.
And the family? Well let's start positive. Isaac is kicking butt in high school with really good grades, lots of friends, and interesting extracurricular activities. We're confident we made the right call keeping him in public schools.
Amelia seems to be doing OK in college again. Her classes are challenging, her spirits are high, but her health has been a little shaky. She burns the candle at both ends and is paying the price. Her asthma, which had been in check for years after receiving a blessing from a Catholic priest with known healing powers (not kidding), is back with a vengeance. With a nice long school break approaching, she'll have a few much needed weeks to recover.
Angel is in culinary school, which is a good thing. Clearly he loves his studies. And, he's really good at the subject matter. Now, the challenge is to keep his nose to the grindstone even though the academic part of his course work is not nearly as exciting and emotionally rewarding as his interactions with people and time in the kitchen. Staying focused on long-term goals is always a struggle, especially with so many distractions in his life.
Speaking of single-minded focus, Lonelli continues to hurtle through life fixated on one or more challenges. Right now she's determined to complete a half ironman triathlon in South Africa early next year. She is also determined to get into a healthy, affirming relationship. These are both good things--at the same time they are not the only things in her life. We continue to encourage her to remember that family and friends are not just yes people there to green light every passion in her life. We have different perspectives and we are not kill joys if we suggest different priorities.
That leaves Clarisa and me. I'm always glad that I'm married--and have never wanted to be anything but Clarisa's husband for the last 20 years. At the same time, even people you love can get on your nerves--and Clarisa and I seem to find every occassion to bother, bug, and generally annoy each other.
In my marriage, we both assume that our perspectives are correct and that our partners have somehow changed. I don't think its change that bothers us, it's our intense togetherness. I believe that as we grow older we're less and less tolerant of our partner's annoying characteristics. They were always there, we just overlooked them, which was easier when we both worked, had small children to tend to, and many other obligations in our lives. But now we're together more--so we're left staring at each other every day thinking, "Is this the person I married?"
I think we both need to become more accepting of each other and recognize that our lives are changing. We're no longer young--and more of our life is behind us than ahead of us. Our roles are changing in our families and in our community, and we need to accept these changes and see the opportunities for growth.
As 2010 winds down, I'm glad this year is over. There were far more uncomfortable experiences than I'm used to. There was less success. More unhappiness.
Ultimately I know that success and happiness come from within, they come when our lives, spirits and goals are aligned with God's will. Chasing after other people's approval or admiration are deadend streets, because we can never get from someone else what brings peace to our spirits. Instead, in 2011 I will strive to find purposefulness in my relationships, in my work, and in my deeds.
One big upcoming event that will help me deepen my thinking and improve my spirit will be World Youth Day 2011. Clarisa and I are the primary chaperones for a group from Grosse Pointe who will attend the World Youth Day in Madrid, Spain in August. The preparation for that journey will include intense spiritual reflection and working hard at interpersonal relationships. The trip is coming at a good time in my life--the year I turn 50--a time when, hopefully I'll be more open to the moving of God's Spirit within.
I also hope this rambling essay resets my mind and gets me back writing. We'll see, won't we. Keep reading!
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